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Grief is a profound and often chaotic process, deeply personal and nonlinear. It arises from changes we never wanted: the heartbreak of a breakup, the finality of a divorce, the pain of a death, or the violation of an assault. Grief is not only about what we’ve lost but also about what we never had—a nurturing parent, a safe childhood, or the care and security we deserved but were denied. While not all grief stems from trauma, all trauma carries an element of grief. Trauma inherently involves loss—the loss of innocence, health, safety, or stability. It is the shock of the unexpected, the life we imagined slipping away. In childhood, many of us learned to put on a metaphorical suit of armor to protect ourselves from emotional pain. This armor, essential for survival at the time, becomes rigid over the years, transforming into a barrier to joy and connection. The coping mechanisms we once relied on—shutting down, overworking, self-medicating—may help us avoid difficult emotions but also block the grief essential for healing. Our early life experiences shape how we navigate challenges later on. A child laughed at in school, or one with emotionally unavailable parents, grows into an adult who meets adversity through the lens of those formative wounds. We do not see the world as it is; we see it as we are. We cannot address what we cannot feel. Often, what we fear most has already happened to us. For example, if abandonment terrifies us, it is likely because we have lived through it before. That fear becomes ingrained in our identity, influencing our behaviors and decisions. Unconsciously, we might recreate scenarios of rejection, hoping this time it will be different. Yet, these self-fulfilling patterns often leave us feeling like victims, perpetuating old wounds instead of healing them. Healing begins when we allow ourselves to see the grief embedded in trauma. It is a journey of reclaiming our power and rediscovering who we truly are. For many, it involves recognizing a lifelong focus on others’ needs while neglecting their own. The process requires learning to acknowledge our feelings, identify our desires, and make intentional changes to break free from trauma’s hold. True healing occurs when the traumatic event no longer dictates our decisions or defines our lives. It is not easy because trauma often obscures our sense of self. But grief and trauma, painful as they are, offer a gift: an invitation to confront and release what we once buried for survival. They challenge us to process the unprocessed, to heal what was left undone, and to finally reclaim ourselves.

Life is an unpredictable mix of experiences, emotions, and relationships. In the midst of it, there’s often a recurring struggle: how do we handle situations that trigger us emotionally, especially when dealing with challenging people? Emotions can be overwhelming and reactive, but as Jay Shetty often emphasizes, systems and intentional strategies can help us navigate where emotions alone fall short. Why Systems Matter Emotions are powerful, but they are also fleeting and sometimes unreliable. They fluctuate with circumstances and can lead to decisions based on temporary states rather than long-term well-being. This is where creating a personal policy  becomes transformative. A system—a clear, intentional set of boundaries and agreements with yourself—allows you to address difficult situations without being overrun by emotion. Shetty often speaks of the value of structure in life: "When we have no system, we rely too heavily on willpower, and willpower is exhaustible." A personal policy acts as a buffer against emotional exhaustion, giving you clarity and consistency in how you respond to people and situations that trigger you. Recognizing Your Triggers The first step in creating a system is self-awareness . Reflect on the following questions: Who or what triggers me most? How do I typically react, and how does that affect me? Where does my emotional reaction come from? Understanding your triggers allows you to prepare in advance rather than react impulsively. For example, if a colleague’s critical tone makes you feel inadequate, a personal policy might involve mentally reframing their behavior. Recognize that their words reflect their own insecurities or stress, not your abilities. It’s Not About You One of the biggest mistakes we make when dealing with toxic people is internalizing their behavior, as if their negativity reflects our value. Shetty highlights an essential perspective shift: "The pain someone has experienced is pouring onto you—not because of who you are, but because of what they’ve been through." By noticing where their behavior stems from, you can depersonalize their actions. This doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior but understanding its origin to protect yourself emotionally. Recognizing their pain creates a mental and emotional distance between you and their negativity, helping you avoid absorbing guilt or shame that doesn’t belong to you. Building Your Policy A personal policy involves intentional strategies tailored to your needs and experiences. Here’s how to create one: Define Your Boundaries: Decide what behaviors you will no longer tolerate. For example, if someone constantly interrupts you during discussions, your boundary might be to calmly assert, “I’d like to finish my thought before we move on.” Create a Strategy for Protection: This could involve physically distancing yourself from a toxic environment, limiting time spent with triggering individuals, or mentally preparing yourself for interactions with them. Reframe the Experience: When triggered, remind yourself: This isn’t about me. This is their pain, not mine.  Visualizing their pain as something separate from you can help create emotional distance. Seek Out Positive Influences: Shetty wisely points out that we often amplify the presence of toxic people in our lives by focusing too much on them. Instead, actively seek mentors, friends, and environments that nurture your growth and potential. Spend time with people who uplift and inspire you rather than those who drain you. The Challenge of Compassion Creating a system isn’t easy, especially when it involves recognizing the pain of those who hurt you. However, this practice fosters compassion, both for yourself and others. Compassion doesn’t mean allowing harmful behavior—it means understanding its root so that you can respond intentionally rather than emotionally. This is where systems truly shine. While emotions can pull us into cycles of reaction, guilt, or frustration, a well-crafted system helps us remain steady and aligned with our values. It protects our energy and well-being without the need for constant emotional recalibration. Prioritizing Your Energy At the heart of this approach is a shift in focus. Instead of giving toxic people undue attention, redirect your energy to the relationships and activities that help you thrive. As Shetty suggests, we often undervalue those who see our potential and overinvest in those who highlight our flaws. Recognizing this imbalance and correcting it is crucial for emotional health. In the end, systems allow us to rise above the chaos of emotion and create a life where we are less reactive and more intentional. By crafting personal policies, understanding our triggers, and surrounding ourselves with positivity, we build not only resilience but also the ability to live authentically and fully. This is the power of combining awareness with action—a system to solve what emotions alone cannot.

From a young age, we are serenaded with tales of princesses marrying princes and living happily ever after. Ah, sweet innocence! These fairy tales, whether from Disney or elsewhere, give us the illusion of a straightforward, bump-free life crowned with eternal happiness once we find "the one." But what’s the reality? Real life, unfortunately, bears little resemblance to a Disney movie. Take, for example, the ending of Cinderella: she marries Prince Charming, and poof, all her troubles vanish. In reality, responsibilities pile up, even with our "prince" or "princess" by our side. Real life requires compromise, hard work, and those glass slippers are far less comfortable than they seem!    Or think of Snow White and her seven companions: she finds refuge without hesitation. In real life, sharing space     with others (even fewer than seven!) can be a daily challenge. Conflicts over chores or habits would certainly be part of the picture if fairy tales were more realistic.    The effect of this illusion? A generation poorly prepared for real-life challenges. Believing everything will be easy and linear, many people face the shock of stress, setbacks, and the resilience needed to build a happy life.    Another persistent myth in fairy tales is the idea of being saved. How often is the princess in a desperate situation,  waiting for her hero to rescue her? While this notion is enchanting, it hardly aligns with reality. In real life, waiting to be saved can make us passive and deprive us of the ability to take responsibility for overcoming our own challenges.    Everything we need for happiness lies within us. The quest for an external savior often leads to disappointment and despair, as no one can truly save us but ourselves. Embracing this truth, we find the strength to create a fulfilling and authentic life, beyond fairy tales. Disney might have sold you a dream, but the real magic lies in our ability to overcome challenges and create our own fairy tale, with all its ups and downs.

You must never earn my love It is safe to have a different opinion than mine Trust yourself, I trust you In this family, we celebrate not getting new things right the first time I love you as you are

Self-awareness: Mindfulness meditation: Practice mindfulness to become more aware of your thoughts and emotions. This can help you recognize and understand your feelings. Journaling: Write about your emotions, experiences, and reactions regularly. This can provide insight into your emotional patterns. Self-regulation: Pause and reflect: When faced with a difficult situation, take a moment to pause before responding. This gives you time to regulate your emotions and choose a thoughtful response. Deep breathing: Use deep breathing exercises to calm your nervous system in stressful situations. Motivation: Set goals: Set clear, meaningful goals for yourself. This can motivate you and give you a sense of purpose, helping you stay focused during difficult times. Find intrinsic rewards: Focus on the joy and satisfaction that comes from the process itself, not just the end result. Empathy: Active Listening: Practice active listening to truly understand others. Give your full attention, make eye contact, and paraphrase what you’ve heard to ensure understanding. Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Try to understand others’ perspectives and feelings. This can help you respond with empathy and compassion. People Skills: Effective Communication: Work on your communication skills, both verbal and nonverbal. Pay attention to your body language and tone of voice. Conflict Resolution: Learn to handle conflict constructively. Focus on finding common ground and understanding the other person’s perspective. Continuous Learning: Seek Feedback: Ask others for feedback on how you handle emotions and interpersonal situations. Use this information for continuous improvement. Read and Learn: Stay informed about emotional intelligence by reading books, articles, and research on the topic. Positive outlook: Practice gratitude: Cultivate a sense of gratitude by regularly reflecting on the positive aspects of your life. This can contribute to a more positive attitude. Optimism: Practice viewing challenges as opportunities for growth. Develop a positive mindset in the face of adversity. Cultural sensitivity: Experience different cultures: Understand and appreciate cultural differences. This can improve your ability to interact with people from diverse backgrounds and give you new perspectives.

Questions to ask yourself in order to sustain a happy and high performing team by Marie Simonsen, Executive Master HEC Paris & Certified EMDR and TRE Practitioner According to the World Health Organization “Burnout is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. Burnout refers specifically to phenomena in the occupational context and should not be applied to describe other areas of life”. Furthermore, job-related stress contributes to 550 million workdays lost annually, and the World Health Organization estimates that $1 trillion is lost in productivity each year as a result. Additionally, burnout leads to disengaged employees, which ends up costing their employer an average of 34% of their annual turnover. So as a people manager, what can you do to successfully manage your team members in order to prevent workplace stress and avoid a team on fire? First of all, have you taken the time to observe and really get to know your team members? Do you truly know their strengths and weaknesses? As managers we can feel overloaded and even overwhelmed, but taking time to observe and exchange with each member of your team is an investment worth gold. When people are playing to their strengths the probability of personal success and excellence is high, as well as the intrinsic motivation of that individual. Observation is as important as communicating, as you may detect qualities in a team member that they are not aware of themselves. Spotting and encouraging individual growth in your team will have a positive ripple effect. You may have a star or two in your team, the so called “high potentials”- but encouraging the entire team will be beneficial in the long run – especially now, in times of uncertainty and rapid change. It takes many seeds to plant a garden and today’s competitive skills do not guarantee tomorrow’s success. Never stop observing your people and continue noticing things you perhaps haven’t seen before, and then tell them what you see. Be genuinely curious about the people you think you know very well. The ability to connect with others depends on the connection you have with yourself, so being a manager also means to work on yourself - it’s an ongoing process which is lifelong, the mental health of your team depends on it. Providing a secure space for rest and play has also proved highly beneficial for organizations. Considering that rest and play are key ingredients for innovation and motivation, have you thought of new ways of getting the job done by incorporating these dimensions? How willing are you to take the risk of doing things differently in your company? How much autonomy and power can you give your team members? Empowering the people in your team through trust is powerful. Giving up control is hard and can sometimes feel like an impossible task because the risk can be perceived as too high. Challenging oneself in this area will play out positively in your team culture. Furthermore, your role as a manager also means to fight for your teams’ resources and to give the credit to your team members when things go well and to take the full responsibility when things don’t go as planned – Doing this will have a strong impact on the well-being of your team and highly reduce chronic workplace stress. Finding joy and satisfaction through the success of others is quite different from the personal success you can experience as an individual contributor and requires to work on oneself as a manager. But in the end of the day, the mental well-being of your team is your responsibility. When you recruit your new team members do you communicate clearly on the company’s culture and true values? Do you validate that your future team members are sharing the same values as your company? I don’t speak about the official corporate values often defined by HR, but the actual way of doing things in your company. Validating matching values and setting clear expectations is key for a successful relationship and can avoid a lot of suffering later down the road. The key points I have emphasized here are also valid for you as a manager and something you could suggest to your own manager. Setting this type of standard will have positive ripple effects in the whole company structure and you as a manager have the power to act as a role model. Burn-out is costly for business and detrimental for the individual and should therefore be taken seriously - prevention and recovery is possible. References: Areas of worklife model, research by Christina Maslach and Michael P.Leiter, University of California at Berkeley and Acadia University and The body keeps the score by Bessel Van der Kolk

Today’s corporate world is governed by the mind - what if we also considered the importance and power of the body? By Marie Simonsen, Executive Master HEC Paris, Executive Coach & Certified EMDR and TRE Practitioner Today’s corporate world is governed by the mind, the part of the human brain that makes thoughtful decisions based on rational, analytical thinking. But what about the body? Why is our body not taken into account when it comes to corporate governance? Job-related stress contributes to 550 million workdays lost annually, and the World Health Organization estimates that $1 trillion is lost in productivity each year as a result. In other words, stress is omnipresent in today’s corporate world. Leaders are making decisions in hyper aroused states which in reality means that the decisions made, reflect the inner state of the leader often synonymous with pressure and stress – so how can we then expect the outcomes to be calculated? Human beings don’t respond to what happens in the present moment but we respond to our perception of reality, thus the past. Past experiences are stored in our bodies and act as the blueprint of how we respond to the outside world. Employees come to the workplace with their history and their life experiences. Today’s workforce is constantly under pressure to work harder, better and smarter with annual targets increasing year by year. Time is a finite resource thus there are limits to how many working hours we can fit into the week. With the increasing pressure and rising conflicting priorities with our personal lives the body responds in an unconscious way. Stress hormones get accumulated in our bodies and our emotional brain will take the lead in our decisions. As a consequence, our decisions are no longer rational and proactive but reactive and based on old patterns. Interventions that attempt to resolve stress -induced behaviors cannot be rectified with the use of traditional crisis intervention techniques that depend on logical cognitive processing because stress behavior is an illogical, instinctual response not under control of the rational brain. Humans are animals after all, but as opposed to animals, homo sapiens has developed cultural codes for what is perceived as acceptable and non-acceptable behavior. In the professional sphere we will often prioritize how we are perceived by our superiors and colleagues instead of focusing on our internal well-being. Animals, unlike humans have not repressed their natural ability to discharge excess energy during stress. They still allow their bodies to shake out the tension of a stressful experience and then move on unencumbered with their lives. The tremor mechanism is the natural mechanisms of the body to release deep muscular tension and discharge high levels of chemicals. Benefits can be reduced blood pressure, deep muscle and emotional release and re-establishment of the bio-chemical levels in the body. TRE (Tension and trauma releasing exercises) invented by David Bercelli, is an innovative series of easy exercises that assist the body in releasing deep muscular patterns of stress, tension and trauma. TRE helps to discharge the high levels of anxious energy that is activated in the body. Once the high energetic charge in the body is reduced, the emotional parts of the brain no longer perceive reality as dangerous and thus allows for a reflected and rational response. Introducing bodywork such as TRE to the corporate world may therefore represent many benefits to today’s workforce. Once the bio-chemical pollution caused by stress has been reduced, skills and behavioral development along with cognitive work and innovation can and will take place. The individual is no longer acting from his emotional brain but rather the neo-cortex, the rational brain. Would it be too unconventional to offer employees the possibility to shake of their stress and tension at the workplace? And what if a team meeting was concluded by a collective tremor session for a more balanced and happier workforce? Wouldn’t it be both innovative and visionary if companies dedicated rooms specifically for tremoring and emotional releases? And what if the mind-body connection allowed leaders to truly connect to their hearts and their inner sensations and as a consequence lead to holistic decisions that would be beneficial in the long term for both the employees and the business? Introducing new behaviors and new thinking is difficult but without risk taking there is no win either. Will you be the next leader to challenge the status quo?

5 short episodes with guided help when you feel like a hamster in a wheel https://open.spotify.com/show/3e7r4ANWG0Le0kRMAIhCq2

Framework inspired by Dr Gabor Maté(from his book In the realm of hungry ghosts) Recurring negative thoughts can be hard to deal with and it can sometimes be difficult to get out of this dysfunctional pattern. Here is an easy 5 steps method to break this dysfunctional thought pattern. How to deal with recurring negative thoughts - in 5 steps Framework inspired by Dr Gabor Maté (from his book In the realm of hungry ghosts) Recurring negative thoughts can be hard to deal with and it can sometimes be difficult to get out of this dysfunctional pattern. Here is an easy 5 steps method to break this dysfunctional thought pattern. Essential for all the five steps is conscious awareness Step 1 : Re-label the thought Rename the obsessive thought for what it is. I’ll give you an example : « I am not capable » or « I am a bad person » or « I am not worth anything». Re-name the thought for what it is, tell yourself : « This is just a false belief », « I may have the feeling that it’s true but it is not ». Take the posture of the impartial spectator : Imagine that you stand outside of yourself observing yourself in action. While doing this don’t try to make the thought disappear. The point is to observe it with conscious attention without assigning the habitual meaning to it – it’s no longer a judgment, just a dysfunctional thought. In other words, it’s not the truth, it’s just a belief. Step 2 : Re-attribute Put the blame on your brain. Tell yourself : « this is my brain sending me a false message ». It represents a brain circuit that was created a long time ago. It also represents emotional needs that went unsatisfied. It is just the effect of circumstances over which you had no control. What you do have some control over is how you respond to the thought in the present. You were not responsible for the dysfunctional circumstances that shaped your brain and worldview, but you can take responsibility now. The re-attribution step allows you to put the thought into perspective. It is only a thought, an attitude, a belief, a feeling arising from an automatic brain mechanism – You can observe it consciously, with attention. And you can let it go. The thought will probably come back soon. When it does, you will relabel it and reattribute it : « Hello, old brain circuits, » you say. « I see you’re still active. Well So am I ». If you change how you respond to those old circuits, you will eventually weaken them. They will persist for a long time – perhaps even all your life, but only as shadows of themselves. They will no longer have the weight, the gravitational pull or the appeal they once had. You will no longer be their marionette. Step 3 : Re-focus In the refocus step you buy yourself time. Thoughts are never permanent. It will pass, but you have to give it time to pass. The key principle here according to Dr. Schwartz is this : « it’s not how you feel that counts, it’s what you do ». Rather than engage in the negative thought (Example ; I am not capable so I will accept abusive behavior from others), find something else that you can think about, a positive belief about yourself (for example an achievement you are proud of or something that you like about yourself, or simply I am doing the best I can, I am good enough as I am). Try to replace the negative belief with this new thought. The purpose of refocusing is to train your brain to think differently and to create new brain circuits. Your brain can actually chose something else. This can be really hard and try not to be too hard on yourself. If you are able to sustain the alternative thought for just a couple of minutes in the beginning that’s completely fine, just exercises patiently to increase the time of avoidance from the negative thought progressively. It will take time, that’s completely normal. As you exercises practicing positive thinking, stay aware of what you are doing. You are doing something difficult. No matter how simple it may seem to others who do not have to live with your particular brain, you know that holding out for for even a short period of time is an achievement. You are coaching your old brain new tricks. Step 4 : De-value Devalue the destructive thought. It’s purpose is to help you put into your thick skull just what has been the real impact of the negative self-beliefs in your life : disaster. You know this already and that’s why you are engaged in these five steps. It’s because of the negative impacts, the false beliefs have had on your life. Do all of this without judging yourself. Devaluing helps you shift the behavioral gears ! » The negative beliefs and thoughts will most likely return. There is no final victory – every moment these thoughts are turned away it’s a triumph. What is certain is that with time these negative beliefs will be drained of energy, if you continue to apply the five steps and also take care of your internal and external environments. If there are times when it reappears with new force, there is no reason to be disappointed or shocked by that. And accept that this exists not because of yourself, but in spite of yourself. You did not come into life asking to be programmed this way, it’s not personal to you – millions of others with similar experiences have developed the same mechanisms. What is personal to you is how you respond to it in the present. Keep close to your impartial observer and take back the power. Step 5 : Re-create : Life until now has created you. You’ve been acting according to ingrained mechanisms wired into your brain before you had a choice in the matter and it’s out of these automatic mechanisms that you have created the life you now have. It is time to re-create : to chose a different life. You have values, passions, intentions, talent and capability. In your heart there is love, and you want to connect that with the love in the world, in the universe. As you re-label, re-attribute, re-focus, and re-value, you are releasing patterns that have held you and that you have held on to. What is the life you really want ? What do you chose to create with your thoughts and your mind? Write down your values and intentions and, one more time, do so with conscious awareness. Envision yourself living with integrity, creativity and presence, being able to look people in the eye with compassion for them – and for yourself. The road to hell is not paved with good intentions. It is paved with lack of intentions. Re—create. Are you afraid you will stumble ? Of course you will : that’s called being a human being. And then you will take the five steps – again.

Doing some mental spring cleaning once in a while can only do us good. This allows us to free ourselves from the things that weigh us down to make room for positive things. Do this simple "cleansing" for the regeneration of your spirit! 1. Make yourself comfortable in a bed or in a chair. Start by closing your eyes. Focus on your inner sensations from head to toe. Focus on each part of your body, part by part. Notice and stay with your inner sensations, just observe them 2. Focus on your breathing. Breath in on a count to 4, hold your breath for 1 second and breath out on a count to 4. Continue to follow your breath like this for a few seconds 3. Keep your eyes closed and imagine your ideal home, the one that represents you. It is not a house that you know but really the house of your dreams. In this house there is an attic under the roof, where we pile up a lot of things… and there is also a box. 4. Imagine that you enter this house and go up to the attic where there is a window. Imagine opening this window and letting in fresh air and light so that this room is the most pleasant for you. Visualize finding the box and opening it. You will find lots of useless but also useful things there; people in your life, things you said, things you did and also things you experienced or things you were told. 5. When you open this box you will imagine that you are throwing away everything that you no longer want to keep, everything that no longer belongs to you, everything that does not belong to you. You throw it all in bags. There are no bag limits, anything that needs to go will go into these bags. What you want to keep will stay in the box. 6. When you have put everything in the bags, imagine that you take these bags outside your house. As soon as you put them down, these things will no longer be yours, someone will come and collect them and make them disappear forever. 7. Now imagine going back to the attic and rearranging and tidying up that space. Also store the box with the things you have decided to keep. And find a resource object that you will keep in the corner of your head. 8. After this tidying up and reorganizing you will notice the positive changes you want in your life. New things will start to fall into place. You can now open your eyes.

Understanding the body’s unconcious reactions to release the feeling of shame and guilt by Marie Simonsen , Exective Master HEC Paris & Certified EMDR and TRE Practitioner Today’s business world is complex and in constant transformation. Employees at all levels in the hierarchy are under high pressure and this can have serious consequences on each individual’s health and as a consequence directly impact the financial results of the company. According to Harvard Business Review the estimated cost of the psychological and physical problems of burned-out employees is estimated to $125 billion to $190 billion a year in healthcare spending in the US, but the true cost to business can be far greater due to low productivity, high turnover and the loss of the most capable talent. A lot is expected from today’s workforce. Harvard business publishing has identified 20 capabilities required to manage in a VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous) world. 8 of these are identified as critical ; Develop personal adaptability, cultivate learning agility, leverage networks, inspire engagement, manage complexity, act strategically, manage global business and foster innovation. In other words, today’s leaders are expected to excel in many areas while the pressure is constantly increasing. This leadership ideal describes an omnipotent leader who should excel in a wide variety of fields. However, when we examine the general health of companies today, we notice that there is a lot of suffering and this is a trend that is infused at all levels in companies. More than 2,5 million French employees currently suffer from burnout, according to the French Consultancy firm Baromètre Empreinte Humaine (Report published in September 2021). According to a study conducted by Malakoff Humanis in September 2021, 43% of French employees consider that their companies do not take enough into account the psychological suffering at the workplace. Only one third has put in place significant initiatives where top management is involved. According to the Global Workplace Report in 2021, 43% of people from over 100 countries claimed to have experienced workplace burnout. According to Harvard Business Review, one out of two millennials has already quit a job to preserve their psychological health. Psychological and physiological suffering increase in today’s corporate world. Stress and anxiety affect our behaviour and this happens on an unconcious level. Awareness and understanding of the biological mechanisms around the body’s stress response can help individuals cope and also heal from the damages caused by stress and burnout. The neuro-science behind stress and the consequences on our behavior Impulsive reactions, short sighted behaviors, bad decisions, depression, stress-related illnesses and substance abuse can all be the consequences of an overly stressed body and mind. During highly stressful events and stress experienced over time, the body can respond as if the individual was enduring a traumatic event. What is important to recognize is that our reactions are instinctual and therefore not under concious control. The body starts to produce more of the stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol, and the frontal lobes of the cortex are disengaged by the activation of the limbic system and the brainstem. The goal of the brain is to activate our instinctive survival responses. The human organism hasn’t changed for the past 200 000 years, but our lives have! In the past when living on the Savannah, the body’s stress response would save us from dangerous animals and death. When the danger was over, the body would go back to a state of peace and relaxation. Today, the human body’s stress response is often activated by a very different type of threat ; a toxic boss, an important deadline, target achievement, pressure to remain in a certain position and the list goes on. We can become so accustomed to produce high levels of adrenaline and cortisol that the body automatically raises the baseline production of these chemicals when we no longer need them. In today’s world the body will often never go back to a state of rest and peace but constantly remain in a state of arrousal caused by stress hormones. Essentially, we become addicted to our own chemicals. Accompanying this adrenaline production is a reduction in serotonin. Serotonin is the « feel good drug » in the body. It is the chemical that inhibits us from acting on our aggressive impulses. Decreases in serotonin in humans, has repeatedly been correlated with impulsivity and aggression. The difficulty arises when the person leaves the stressful environment and returns to a normal environment. Their biochemical responses are still highly activated even though they are no longer necessary. This is what causes an individual to have an exaggerated reaction to normal everyday stressors. Stress and burnout and other forms of corporate suffering are all symptoms of this neurological separation. When we realize that our stress responses are not ourselves and that we can work them through and thus beccome ourselves, we then realize that we are not weak and that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Burnout is when the body says no, because the mind is not setting the necessary boundaries for self protection. Leadership, safety and our nervous system Nelson Mandela refers to leadership in his book Long Walk to Freedom. In this autobiography he explains how one of the leaders from his tribe speaks about leadership : « A leader, he said, is like a shepard. He stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go out ahead, wherupon the others follow, not realizing that all along they are being directed from behind ». As Mandela points out, the true leader walks behind but he is present and he creates the feeling of safety, so each individual can build on their personal strenghts. This type of leadership makes people feel secure. When human beings feel safe they have access to their rational and creative capacaties and they maintain a healthy bio-chemical balance in the body. These are critical skills in today’s world and definately something companies should value in the competetive VUCA world. So when the body shows symptoms of burnout, don’t feel ashamed. Listen to the intelligence of your nervous system and tell yourself that your body is just protecting you from a perceived danger. Burnout should be taken seriously - healing and recovery is possible. For more information visit my website at : www.stressandburnouts.com